Part I
Rating: R ( Schizophrenia, Suicide, Death, Language)
Summary: "If they don't kill you by then, okay." You smile and walk out the door. Nicholas smirked when he heard Alex's head crack against the bar slightly, fear making him pass out cold. Oh shit, look what you did. I didn't do it, Nicholas did. How come he never talks to us? Cos he thinks he's too fucking cool. Well, he's not. Of course he is, dude, he kills people! You tell him to kill people. No, that's Nicky. Whatever. Hey, we're all in this together. Who the fuck are you? The new voice. Take a number. This is getting ridiculous. all of you, shut the fuck up now before I'm forced to make Nicky bash his head into a wall. Oh wow, Nicholas, you finally speak. I worship you, man, fully and wholly. Christ.
Beta: Lisa and then MSWord, just to make sure.
Prescribed pills to offset the shakes to offset the pills
You know you should take it a day at a time.
IV patch stuck to your arm you slide through the hallways like a ghost, quietly and unnoticed. Yes, those lights are rather brighter than they were today, but they upped your dosage of medicine, so maybe you should put on a pair of glasses before you go all the way down the hall. Good? Okay, good. So you go back and get your favorite pair of black sunglasses and come back out into the hall. Everything is tinted now, so much better, right? Good. Watch out for that crack in the tiles, you think, as you move your IV around it slowly. If the wheels on it had hit a bump it would've made a painful tug on your arm, and you didn't want that to happen, did you? Of course not. See, we know what's best for you here. You smile. Good, keep smiling.
So you walk down the hall, your usual 2 am walk down the hall, because at 2am no one is really around and half of the lights are off. That way you can peek at the new patients that came in last night. That way you can make new friends. But nobody really likes you. Oh, don't pout. Be nice, he's fragile. But I'm not nice, am I? Oh, don't think that. It's a confusing battle, those words in your head, isn't it Nicholas? You nod, good boy, yes, it is. Poor you. Those pills will make everything okay...in oh, another 30 minutes. Sit back, relax. So you were going to sit down but then you remember that you have to go and look at the patients so you tug on your little IV line like it's a puppy on it's leash and continue to walk.
Your stomach feels funny, but you refuse to eat. You shouldn't do that, no wonder you're so pale. So skinny. So thin. Aww, don't cry. It's okay, a lot of people refuse to eat inside the hospital. Like Michael, remember what happened, do you? Don't bring up Michael. Yep, you're gonna end up like too. No, don't think that. Just telling him the truth. Quiet. He needs quiet so stop talking, he has to read the numbers on the door so he can find out who he should check on first, can you let him do that? You wait.
...
Silence.
Thank you.
"Room 25B." You read and your voice is so quiet and weak, like a child's. I think it's adorable. You think a lot of things, you machinist perv. Let's not argue, can't we all get along? No. No, we can't. Silence please, you're begging them to stop talking, but they're not listening. I've had enough of you. Fuck you.
"Stop it," You warn quietly, placing a hand to your head and sighing sadly. " Go away."
Like we really listen to you, you ungrateful little twat. We take care of you, talk to you, keep you company. That's why nobody likes you. Actually, the correct pronunciation is no one, not nobody. Shut up, nerd. I'll say it however I want. Oh, shush, both of you. Hell, I’m just trying to get my word in before the pills kick in. Yeh, good point. They agree, but you look at the door and remember that Michael was in 25B so you go and march right in there because the door is open.
Inside of the room there's flowers and balloons and pictures and candles and it looks like someone died, but they didn't because there's this person sitting up inside of the bed crying. What a loser, sobbing like that. Christ. But you go right over to him and place a hand on his wrist and smile gently, because that's what you're supposed to do when you want to make someone happy. That's what your friends told you. Before you burned down the school, you little perverted schizophrenic arsonist. Nice words, asrsehole, leave the kid be. He's trying to be helpful but the other isn't listening and Nicholas wants them all to be quiet again because it's not that simple anymore and everything is hurting again. Shit, now those pills are kicking in. Great. "Why are you crying?" You murmur quietly, hand on his wrist, skin pale and eyes lowered.
"They're trying to kill me." He cried out, moving around inside of the bed." They wanna wait until I'm asleep and then they're gonna kill me, I know it. That's why they tied me down."
You look down and sure enough, he's strapped down by his wrists. He's sitting up still, and it's obvious that he's been trying to pick the restraints off, because his fingers and raw and bloodied. He looks sad. You like him. "They're gonna poison me." He whispers, not moving now, just crying still. Crazy, I tell you. Crazy as a motherfucker. Hey, no profanity. Sod off, fairy. I feel so lonely. Why the fuck haven't those pills kicked in?
"Why are they gonna kill you?" Childish innocence, they were always fooled by that. Those soft blue eyes, that sweet face, that tiny little accent. Your little giggle, that cute little one that sounds a bit annoying, but makes you want to laugh as well. That's because they were dumb, dumb as hell. You should've burned down their house too. Couldn't get a match. Ahh, he speaks. No, not really, it's still me. I think he's ignoring us. Well, I'd ignore you too.
"I don't know. Probably because I already tried."
"You tried to kill them!?" He asked, excited. " Me too!"
"No- no...what?" He asked, blinking at him. " No, I didn't try to kill them, I tried to kill me."
"Yourself?"
"Yeah..." I like his idea. Fuck you, Christ. Hey, I'm just getting my point across.
"Oh." Your frown, rubbing your arms but then you look up again. Interesting....killing....killing yourself? You never heard of that before. You've...Michael did that. But Michael wasn't really your friend, he just said he was. Well, would you be someone's friend after they lit your favorite teddy bear on fire? No, Anders was evil! He was a fucking bear, he wasn't evil, he was made of cotton and stitches. Hey, you saw what happened to snuggles didn't you? You see they blew him the fuck up. Had it coming too, twaty bear. You are pure evil. About time you realized that. SHUT UP, PLEASE, HE'S TRYING TO THINK AGAIN. " How did you try?"
"Well," He says, laying back down again. " I took this pencil, and I jammed it into my arm...but then that didn't work, so I took some glass, and I poked myself with that for a while, but that didn't work. Then I tried pills, but that didn't work, cos I can't swallow them and I ended up choking. So then my brother did this weird jerking maneuver and I ended up spitting them out. So then I went into the bathroom and I found my mum's razors and well...yeh. But you know, that didn't work either. I mean, I didn't die....just bled a lot. Everyone was freaking out though...it was just only a little blood. But here I am now, cos they had to wrap me up...and yeh..."
"So now they're trying to kill you?"
"Yeh, but I wanna do it myself."
"Understandable." You looked at his restraints and smiled." My name is Nicky."
"My name is Alex, how do you do?" He says this with a funny accent, bowing his head. " I'd take off my hat if I had one, that, or I wasn't tied down." Isn't that a riot, a nut that's polite, well I'll be dammed. You'll be something. "Why are you here?"
"Cos I set some things on fire." You shrug, sitting down on the bed besides him.
"Cool."
"Ja, I have a pack of matches too, wanna see em?"
"I have nothing else better to do." Oh shit, not the matches again. How the hell does he get his hands on these things, didn't we tell you to stop doing that? Yeah, kid, light something on fire. How about that curtain? DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM! DON'T STIFFLE HIM, HE'S BEING CREATIVE ....the fuck?
So Nicholas takes out his matches and shows it to Alex, who smiles and nods as he talks. "I have a whole bunch of them in different colors...pinks and reds and blues, but this one is my favorite." He said, and reached inside of his gown's pocket to pull out a silver lighter. " Easy and quick. I nicked it off of my dad."
"Brilliant."
"Ja." He put them back inside his pocket and yawned, eyes getting blurry. Oh no, someone's sleepy. Oh no, someone's pills are kicking in. Yeh, that means you fuckers go nighty night until he wakes up. That's what you think.
"I like you, Nicky. You're the only who hasn't tried to kill me yet."
"Glad you do." Nicholas slides off the bed and pulls his IV with him. " I like your IV bag."
"S'pretty, right?" Alex says, flushing and touching it fondly. Rip it out of his arm, go on, do it. Do it. Do it. This isn't Starsky and Hutch, shut the fuck up. Do it. Do it. Do it.
"I gotta go to sleep, Alex, before my pills kick in and I fall on the floor." Nicholas says this bluntly, but you don't know what the fuck you're saying, because there are so many sides to you that you don't know who has control of what anymore and which person you are at the moment. Nicholas is the one that likes to start fires, and you're the sweet innocent one, then you have that other person who eggs you on to do bad shit and then that other person who is such a fucking God fearing pussy that eggs you on to do good shit. It's annoying. Damn pills, work already.
Alex nods," Come back tomorrow."
"If they don't kill you by then, okay." You smile and walk out the door. Nicholas smirked when he heard Alex's head crack against the bar slightly, fear making him pass out cold. Oh shit, look what you did. I didn't do it, Nicholas did. How come he never talks to us? Cos he thinks he's too fucking cool. Well, he's not. Of course he is, dude, he kills people! You tell him to kill people. No, that's Nicky. Whatever. Hey, we're all in this together. Who the fuck are you? The new voice. Take a number. This is getting ridiculous. all of you, shut the fuck up now before I'm forced to make Nicky bash his head into a wall. Oh wow, Nicholas, you finally speak. I worship you, man, fully and wholly. Christ.
Nicky bangs his head into the wall twice while he's walking down the hallway back to his room before everything is silent and those pills kick in. He doesn't make it to the bed, just inside the room before he falls to the floor, IV line and all.
La, la la la la , la la la la la, llaaahhh laaahhhh lllahhhhaahhh....
I loved you, but you killed me, oh no...oh yes,...no no no
Lallaaa...lla laa.... and I never sawwwww...you look s-s-s-oo lonely....so beautiful...
laaa laa la allaa and it kills me soo....laa llall aaalhhaaaaa
Wake up. Fuck off. Rise and shine, Nicky! Where's Nicholas? Lalllala. STOP SINGING. I CAN'T. WHY? COS M'HAPPY, DAMNIT. You are so fucking gay. Christ.
You wake up inside of your bed to see Robert hovering over you. You reach out to kick him, but he moves to the side, almost anticipating it. "Don't do that, Nicholas."
"M'name's Nicky." You pout, rubbing your eyes. Your arms hurt. Where's your IV?
"...oh, it's you." Robert squints and you hate his shiny fucking lab coat, like he's someone special. CUNT. CUNT. CUNT. I agree with you for once, CUNT! "Hello, Nicky, had a nice sleep?"
"Ja, it was painful."
"Oh, you're favorite type."
You nod your head happily," Yep!"
"Well, I was just making sure that you were taking your pills."
"Yeh, they make me kind of dizzy and I threw up this morning." And it fucks with your head, look at that, a 5th personality , new kid, fuck off. He's gone, shite. Where did he go? Nicholas kicked his ass while we were sleeping. What do you mean. The black eye, duh. What black eye? You'll see.
"What happened to your eye, Nicky?"
"What about it?" You touch your eye gently and flinch in pain. "Shite....owww,"
"How did that happen?"
"I don't know" Oh, Nicky. Poor babe, your eye is swollen shut.
Christ, wow, Nicholas fucked him up. Ja, he's sooooo cool. God, you called me gay.
Robert patted Nicky on the head, " You know I don't do this often but..." He leaned over and kissed him gently, shyly, and then pulled away. "Nicky, I want you to get better, you don't belong here."
You flushed, how sweet. Your doctor cares for you. And just think, you were going to set his shirt on fire tonight. Or, actually, Nicholas was. How odd. "I don't want to be here anymore." Don't cry, twat, you'll sound too innocent. Shh, let him cry, he needs it. Oh shit, why don't you go and kiss him as well, twat. I'm ignoring you now.
"You're sick, Nicky. You have to stay here until you get better. Go to sleep, and I'll come back and check on you later." Robert patted your arm gently and oh, how sweet, your doctor was in love with you. I'm proud of you, Nicky. A new person to shove away! Quiet, you. I don't like the way you're heading. Isn't it the way you're talking? Sod off! MAKE ME. LET'S GO RIGHT NOW, BITCH, HOLD ME BACK, HOLD ME BACK!!
"Ni- Nicky, stop banging your head into the pillow or I'll be forced to put you in restraints like Alexander." Robert's voice is tired now and you sheepishly smile." I'm just trying to get them to shut up."
"Oh," He sounds disappointed and sighs, because that's what doctors do. "I'll arrange for the nurse to up your dosage, if you want."
"No...no, doc. I'm okay, really. Just let me...two more times." Nicky sounds desperate, let's shut up. Wait. Why? I wanna see him bang his head into the pillow one more time. God, you're evil. Wait for it...
"Fine." Robert looks bored now, and Nicky bangs his head into the pillow two more times before smiling," Okay, done." He laid back inside of the bed and closed his eyes, feigning sleepyness, at least until Robert was gone, then he'd get up and go and visit Alex, cause he liked him.
MOTHERFUCKER, OH MY GOD, HAHAHAAHAH. Why are you laughing? DID YOU SEE HIM BANG HIS HEAD, SHIT!? That wasn't funny, that was sad. OH MY GOD, I'M TEARING. Robert looked at Nicky one more time before he left the room and turned off the light. Then Nicky sat up.
"You guys, you need to stop talking so loud. It took me forever to fall asleep last night."
Lying bitch, you passed out on the floor.
"I did not." Nicky pouted, rubbing his head. " And stop bashing me."
That was Nicholas, dear.
"And leave me alone."
Sorry, no can do.
"Why not?"
Because you're a crazy schizophrenic arsonist. You always will be, no matter how many pills you take, okay? The only way you'd get rid of us is if you killed yourself.
Nicky staid quiet.
Oh shit, what did you say to him?
Nothing....I ahem....what is he thinking?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I KNOW?
I DON'T KNOW, YOU ARE HIM.
WELL SO ARE YOU.
"If I killed myself you'd go away?" Nicky smiled a little and then slipped out of the bed. Grab your IV, hun. You need it. Okay, you smile, and you take your IV and then start to walk again. Why does he like you the most? Because I am the most caring. WELL I DON'T FUCKING LIKE YOU. TOUGH SHIT, BITCH. Can't we all just get along? NO, WE CAN'T. Nicky walks down the hall with his sun glasses still on from last night and makes his way to 25B only to see the bed empty. HAHA, THEY KILLED HIM. HAHAHAHA. THAT IS NOT FUNNY. OH YES, IT IS. TEARING UP HERE!! Nicky busted out into tears, his only friend was dead. Wait, did that mean that they were going to kill him now? No, they couldn't. No. They wouldn't-
Nicky turned around, hearing someone screaming. He blinked in shock when he saw Alex standing behind him, crying hysterically. He automatically engulfed him into his arms," I thought you were dead, why are you crying!?"
Alex opened his eyes and sniffed," Cos I thought you were dead! When I went into your room no one was there!"
"I'm alive." Nicky smiled out and Alex hugged him tighter, breathing out "Yay" into his ear.
It was then that Nicky got an idea and pushed Alex away," Alex, do you still wanna kill yourself?"
"Kinda, why?"
"Cos, I'll do it with you." Nicholas smiled out, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Alex smiled as well, wiping his tears away. "Okay."
----
Holy shit, Nick, wake up. M'awake , what? What the fuck is Nicholas doing? He's cryin- HOLY SHIT HE'S CRYING. WHY IS HE CRYING. I'M SCARED, HOLD ME. Why don't I have a name, I just realized that? Cos...mm, we ran out of Nicks. We have Nick, Nicky, Nicholas....um, that's it. More importantly, why is Nicholas crying? And where is Nicky? Nicky is being pushed off somewhere deep down inside of our mind for the time being.
Why is Nicholas on the floor anyway, you may wonder. Why are you unable to speak, unable to move, and why is this creature, this being, this evil person, controlling your every move, your every breath, your every thought? And why does it hurt so much? Nicholas looks so sad, curled around Alex like that. Fucker, taking away your best friend. You want to hurt him, ache to hurt him, but it won't work, you can't, you can't move, can't do anything. And oh, how you fucking want to.
"Do you want to?" Nicholas asks and his voice is fucking slick, so slick you could slip across the room on it if you weren't careful. Where the fuck do you get these phrases from? Why didn't you just say as slick as a banana or summat? Sod off, he's thinking again.
"How are we supposed to do it?" Alex asks and Nicholas smiles, that cold, wonderful smile. " Death by way of flight"
Part II
Rating: R (Schizophrenia Multiple Personality Disorder,
Language)
Beta: Lisa and then MSWord, just to make sure.
Oh, and thank you
roleyknoty
cos yer cooler than I will ever be.
Disclaimer: Oh, god, never. Not real. You know how I know it's not real. Because Nick used to steal things, not light things on fire. ( But the part about Nick jumping rope down the hall is true, watch the DVD. However, I do not have him smack Paul in the head in this story.)
Beta: Lisa and MSWord
AN: I know a lot of people got confused by the italics and underlines and bolds so I tried a new way this time. Enjoy!
"Nicky?" Alex asked, shaking him a little bit. He looked pale as he slouched back against his chest. The belt buckle stabbed Alex in the side as he yelled over the roaring air to Paul, who was busy navigating through the sky. " I think Nicky passed out."
'All who vote in favor of not setting anything on fire say 'aye'.
'Aye'
'Your vote doesn't count.'
'And why not?'
'Cos.'
'Cos what?'
"Quiet." Nicky is pacing around his room again and aww, look, he has that black eye still. It's not going away. In fact, it's getting worse. Not the black eye, no, Nicky was past black eyes already, but that feeling. That sad, dark, overwhelming feeling, like drowning. But he couldn't be drowning because he was pacing around his hospital room. No, he wasn't drowning, but it sure as hell felt that way. And ever since Nicholas, the darker one, the sullen one, the one that was dragging him down, made that pact with Alex he had no control over anything anymore. He was surprised that he was even able to pace right now. So he was going to pace around until that dark feeling overcame him again and he was forced to sit down, bury his face into the pillow and sob, bite back that burning feeling and try and stop him from showing up again.
'Sad, really.'
'So you say'
'Well...you are relatively quiet today'
'I've been thinking...'
'A first'
'Don't mock me, I'm being considerate'
'Sorry'
'Anyway, I was just think how horrible we've been lately. Like we've been torturing Nicky for our own perverse pleasure or summat. That isn't very nice of us, and you know, I don't think people like it.'
'People?'
'The others.'
'Oh....wait, we? No, you mean you. I'm nice to Nicky. I talk to Nicky. I'm the one who hates him-'
'Nicholas?'
'Yes.'
'Don't say it so harshly'
'...I can't produce emotion. I- we're a figment of Nicky's twisted imagination. We're not really here. We don't breathe, he does. We don't talk unless he projects it. We can't feel anything. It's rather depressing.'
Nicky feels bad because those voices in his head are starting to feel sympathetic for him, and he didn't want that. Bad enough they were there in the first place, constantly chattering and bickering. "I don't want your pity."
'We're not offering it, kid.'
The IV drip sits inside of the corner of the room. He stopped pulling it around with him because it didn't make him feel any better anymore. It didn't show that he was okay. It didn't even help him in anyway, but he still kept it...for memories sake, he supposed. He had a new thing now anyway, it was called a pack. It's not really a pack, but he called it that because it's a cute little pouch that he has tired around his wrist filled with different tablets and pills that he needed. He changed the pack every day because Robert gave him several of them in different colors; a kind birthday present. Which he doesn't remember. "When's my birthday?" Nicky is wide eyed as he looked at the calendar and squints, placing his index finger to it and tracking down the days. His fingers falls on a Saturday and he blinks, because that was last week. But he doesn't remember that.
'Lovely birthday, Alex was there. Got you a present.'
"Really?"
'Yep, you put it inside that drawer over there.'
"I don't remember." Nicky is puzzled. He didn't remember it.
'Of course he doesn't, tell him why.'
'Why ruin his one moment of happiness?'
'Does it sound like he's happy?'
'Okay. You...weren't around, let's put it that way.'
"Oh." Nicky, don't look sad. It wasn't the first time that you missed out on your birthday.
'Look, go look at your present.'
"Okay." Nicky nods and walks over to the cabinet slowly, looking at the checkered pattern tiles on the floor as he does so. Lately he's been doing things lately, touching tiles twice, walking backwards and counting things. He did it to take his mind off of things, but Robert didn't seem to be amused." Nicky, you have to stop doing all these things before they transfer you out of here and put you somewhere..." He adjusted his jacket slightly, sighing that doctorly sigh," Somewhere more....suitable." Nicky didn't know where that was, so one of his better halves had to pipe up, ' The crazy house'.
He opened up the dresser and pulled out a little box.
'Oh, look! A smile, shit, when was the last time he smiled?'
'Beats me.'
'You know you think it's adorable, why don't you just admit that you care about him?'
'Because someone has to be the asrsehole.'
Nicky sat on the floor- the while colored tiles, not the black, black was a negative color and since today was Tuesday the 22nd that was a positive number as well as an even number, so it has to be positive, so white would be a positive color too- and opened up the box quickly, shredding the papers and dropping them to the floor. Inside the box there was a pen. A small black ink pen. Nicky looked at for a long time and smiled before looking at the tiny letter that fell out from the bottom. 'Oh yeah, I tried with this too. It didn't work, but you're smart. I'm sure you can make something useful of it- Alex'.
'Creative'
'The lad's got style.'
Nicky took the pen and looked at it, rotating it in his fingers, and then sighed. " You guys know where some paper is at?"
'Now he wants to talk to us, when he needs shit. Well you little twat you can go and look for it right up your-'
'It's inside the second drawer, the right one, not the left one.'
"Thank you." Maybe one day Nicky might actually sit down and have a full conversation with those people inside of his head, but for now he'd be reduced to having seldom conversations with them involving pens, papers and questions that he needed a yes, no, or I don't know answer to. He'd settle. Settling is what he did best. He pulled out some paper and sat on the floor, - the left white tile because if he sat on the right one the whole set up would be fucked, and he didn't want that because then he'd have to go back to sitting on the black ties just because he had to be evened out- and began to draw with that black pen.
'Oh, remember when he was little and he used to draw those little airplanes?'
'You sound like a joyful mother.'
'What? They were so adorable, all golden and silver with that pretty red backdrop...'
'I never understood why he constantly drew airplanes.'
'His lust for flight, obviously. He wanted to fly away from us.'
'Tough shit, that airplane isn't gonna jump off of the page and come to life. This isn't a fairy tale.'
'Shh...he's drawing them again'
The airplanes that Nicky drew were old fashioned, like the ones back in the day used to look like. He remembered looking inside his text book inside the hospital when he had first arrived on an article during World War II, and those fighter airplanes that had been used. He loved how they were shaped and how they looked. But he always loved the ones with double wings, he could never remember the proper name for them, liked the look of it. The cute ones with the two seats, the cock pit in the front and the passenger one in the back. And that red sunset....that sense of freedom, of escape. It was the get away he always dreamed of, to escape from all of the troubles and pain that he had...to just skip it all. And fly. Oh, he dreamed of flying every night. Especially when that ache came. When that ache came he'd grab the bars on the side of his bed and tie his bed sheet around his neck, pull his sunglasses down and close his eyes. And he'd see that run way in front of him, that dark dusty road. And then he'd be gone.
'Oh, quit it. Stop it. Stop thinking, now. It'll never happen. Never fucking happen.'
' I can almost see the runway now'
'Sod off.'
There was a soft tap on his door, and Nicky looked up, almost done with his drawing. He almost dropped the pen from his mouth when he saw the person at the door.
Paul.
'Holy shite.'
'Bloody hell.'
'What the fuck is he doing here?'
'Are you afraid?'
'No...'
'Oh god, the bad boy is finally scared of someone! This calls for celebration.'
'Sod off! This bloke is crazier than Alex!'
'I like him.'
'Of course you would.'
"Ello." Paul smiled out, hands on his hip. Nicky blinked at him, mouth opened all wide, shocked and confused. " M'not a bloody ghost, come and give yer step-brother a hug!"
Nicky scrambled to his feet and engulfed him into his arms, burring his head into Paul's leather jacket." Where have you been all this time? You don't know how much I missed you..." He started to shake a little as tears crept into his eyes and that drowning feeling came back, but Paul just put a hand to Nicky's hot little forehead and the pain went away just as fast as it had came. Brothers were good for doing things that you couldn't do. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Got you a present, since it was your birthday and all." He reached up to the top of his forehead and pulled the goggles off before holding them in front of Nicky's face.
'I think he's gonna cry, he's so happy.'
'Get a camera, he'll be crying to night as well then it happens'
'Don't talk about that right now'
"A tad big on yer head probably, but it'll fit." Paul smiled and Nicky grabbed them from Paul's gloved hand, sticking it onto his head. A perfect fit. They were gold too, just like his airplane. Just like his escape. He touched the clasp in the middle, and the small round glass pieces on either side before truing back to him again. "Why are you here?"
"To get you out, of course."
"What?" Nicky let go of him and stared at him oddly, head cocked to the side." How?"
"How else?" Paul smirked, but Nicky's face paled. " You can't...I have a friend..."
"Fuck all, take him with you!" Paul said this calmly, looking at Nicky's airplane. " Nice drawing."
"S'my airplane."
"No, actually, it's grandpa's airplane. The one he used in the war."
"Margarita?" Nicky frowned," That old battered piece of shit."
"Hey, that old, battered peice of shit carried Grandpa home. Yes, that's the one. He used to let me and you sit inside of it when you were little, and that's how she looked before age got to her. That's how mines looks now."
"Yours...?" Nicky blinked and Paul had that small smile playing on his lips, eyes bright with life. Sometimes Nicky envied his brother's lust for life and passion to do things that haven't been done before, but that's why he was the older brother and Nicky wasn't. " You have one!?"
Paul moved his fingers around in a circle in the air. Cocked his head to the side and put his hands inside his pocket. " Come fly with me."
'That wasn't a question, it was a demand.'
'That's so fucking hot.'
'Your brother.'
'Step-brother'
'Thank god you never get control of the kid.'
--------------------------------
"This is how we're going to die?" Alex bit his knuckles in excitement as well as fear.
Nicholas had that dark smile on his face," Death by way of flight."
"The airplane is lovely." Alex looked at it carefully, amazed at how beautiful it was. Tall, golden, and looked brand new. "How did your brother get this?"
"What brother?" Nicholas frowned, biting his lip." Oh, you mean Paul? Dunno, he's odd like that."
"Are we going to crash the plane into something?"
"Don't be silly." Nicholas chided, touching his goggles fondly. The winter air was freezing, and he had a little bit of trouble seeing in front of him due to the snow that was coming down, but he had to see it himself. Had to get a glimpse of the plane up close with Alex before Nicky decided that he didn't like being on the backburner and pushed his way back into having control. Sodding twat. He rubbed his gloves together and smiled. "Nothing of that sort. Something on a much larger scale."
Alex didn't see Nicholas smirk but did hear that violent cough followed by a groaned out "Oh God." and "Sodding cunt" .Nicholas had to excuse himself to go back inside because he had a cold and couldn't stay outside for long. It was then that he realized that something was wrong.
---------------------------------
'Is he alive?'
'Yer still talking, so I suppose so.'
'But he's not moving'
'Stop wining, m'sleepy.'
'If yer sleepy that means he's gonna die. Don't go to sleep. Ignore the light'
"Oh Nicky."
'Who the fuck is that talking?'
'Oh God, now I'm getting sleepy too.'
"Nicky, why are you doing this to yourself?"
'Maybe if we go to sleep...'
"What?" Nicky's voice is weak as he opened his frost covered eyelashes and sits up inside of the bed, body shaking. It was cold. Fucking cold. So cold that whenever he inhaled it felt like his body was on fire, that burning sting that only coldness could bring on. It ignited his insides and make him groan in pain, as well as sneeze. When his vision cleared up more he looked at Robert sitting on the bed with him, hands covering his eyes. He had one of those doctor headaches, Nicky was sure of it. Robert always got those while Nicky was around. So Nicky tugged on his arm slightly, "What happened?"
"I found you sleeping inside of the snow. Shite, Nicky. What happened?"
"Dunno, I was tired and I went to sleep. Inside this room, this bed. Dunno how I got outside."
'Wake up, or I'll start singing again'
'MMMmpphh.'
'La la-'
'M'awake. What!?'
'Nicky feel asleep inside of the snow. I swear, Nicholas is trying to kill him.'
'What!?'
'Why do you think we were so sleepy? He was bloody fucking dying!'
'Oh.'
Nicky looked up at Robert with clear eyes," Are you worried now?"
"I was worried when you first came here. Go back to sleep, I'll have a nurse check up on you every hour. I don't want something like this happening again." Robert got up off of the bed and Nicky shot up quickly, panicked, and grabbed his hand. Tugged on it gently like a child, because Nicky had a lot of childish tendencies. He once jumped rope down and up the hall for an hour straight, singing that stupid tune inside of his head that went 'Lal la la la la' and nothing else. But anyway, he tugged on Robert's arm so Robert had to bend back down and come down to Nicky's level again. He held him there for a moment and then kissed him on the cheek, which is a tad odd because afterwards there was a grunt, but it didn't come from Nicky or Paul, nor from his other personalities. "I'm sorry for all of this." Nicky whispered it quietly and Robert smiled, placing a hand on top of his head. His fingers brushed against his goggles and he blinked for a second, about to ask where Nicky got those from, but stopped, deciding he didn't want to know. " You'll get better one day, I promise."
That was the last time Nicky would talk to Robert.
'Well, don't say it like that. Makes it sound depressing.'
'Well, he doesn't. '
'Don't ruin it for everyone else though!'
'Stop wining.'
As soon as Robert closed the door Paul sighed out tiredly," You have the hots for him or summat?"
"Or summat." Nicky answered, closing his eyes and leaning back inside of the bed. He pulled his blankets up over him and frowned," Were you watching us, perv?"
"Yeh, I thought he was gonna bugger you in the Johnny or summat. I had to stick around."
Nicky made a face. " Ew."
'Ew.'
'Hahaha, sweet.'
"Really, how long were you there?" Nicky blinked some snow from his lashes; the rest was beginning to melt away.
"The whole bloody day. I can't be seen around here, or they're gonna track me down once you're gone."
"They don't think I have any family members, not anymore..."
"Let's not talk about the fire now, shall we? You did what those people inside of your head told you to do, that's the end of it." Paul's gloves were leather and fingerless, so whenever he'd talk he'd move them to run a hand through his shaggy hair, taking great care not to have them collide with his goggles, which were a top his head once more. Nicky didn't know how Paul got another pair, but he didn't know a lot of things about his step-brother. His leather jacket had different buttons and patches on it, and his scarf was thick and woolly, a dark, sinister black color. "How are they anyway?"
"Nicholas? Nick? Or little Nick?"
Paul sighed." Christ, all of them."
"Nicholas is trying to get Alex to kill himself, along with him...me, as well. Nick is being an asshole like he normally is, but I know he cares about me. Little Nick is okay, he likes you." Nicky played with his own goggles now, his lips still wet. Robert's cheek was as soft as a petal.
'I KNOW HE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT ABOUT ME! I DON'T LIKE PAUL.'
'Hahahahah, your name is little Nick.'
"Well tell little Nick I said hi." Paul smiled a little, jumping onto Nicky's bed.
"Oh, he heard you. Didn't you, little Nick?"
'Wanker.'
Nicky was starting to like talking to himself. Paul made it seem almost normal.
"A few more weeks and we'll be ready." Paul said, leaning on the bed now, eyes closing.
Nicky yawned, closing his eyes as well, smiling. " We'll fly."
--------------------------------------------------------
'It is Spring and I still feel like someone is stabbing me with a knife.'
'Oh, that's me.'
'Well, stoppit! M'trying to bloody fucking enjoy these last days.'
'You have such an odd sense of clarity in your words'
'Death is inevitable babe, it's not clarity but more along the lines of the fact that it‘s true.'
"I won't let it happen, I won't let it happen. No. No. You're not going to come back. No. No. Go away. Go Away." Nicky was curled up on the floor at the moment, biting his lips, rocking back and forth and shaking his head repeatedly. It was happening. He was drowning. He was choking. He was gasping. " Make it go away. Stop it. No. No. No. You're not coming back. YOU'RE NOT COMMING BACK!" He screamed the last part, digging his fingers into his scalp. This time the pain was unbearable, and it didn't matter how many pills he took or how many people said he was going to be okay, it was going to happen. He held Nicholas off for 3 months, did he really expect to be cured? It would've been okay. He would've given up if it hadn't been for the fact that Alex and Paul were standing there, watching him with a look of confusion as well as sorrow on their faces. It was embarrassing.
"Ni-"
"Don't talk to him, he has to fight it off." Paul said this quietly, staring at him intently.
'I just want to talk with Paulie, you can let me do that, can't you Nicky?'
"No, I can't. You need to go away and stay away."
'But he's my brother too.'
"No, Nicholas."
'Aw, yer gonna make me sad, Nicky. Don't wanna do that, do you? You may end up with a black eye again. Don't wanna break that pretty skin, do you? And oh, look, yer so tired. Why don't you relax and let me take over for a while? You'd like that, you know you would. And then you'd feel better. Right?'
"No..."
'Oh, yes. You could probably just sit back and relax. And you wouldn't have to take anymore pills or listen to all those odd little voices or give into those urges of walking backwards or anything like that. It'd be over. It'd be all gone.'
"Nicky, get up. We have to get to the plane, they've probably realized that you and me have left by now." Alex said this urgently, grabbing at his hand. As soon as his hand touched Alex's he gasped and sat up, eyes watering.
"You alright?" Paul asked, blinking a little.
"Yeh, m'alright." He sat up, adjusting his goggles and then let Alex pull him back to his feet. The spring air was warm and gentle, breezes so soft it felt like silk as cradling itself against your cheek. The sun was floating in the sky, bright and shining, like a beacon of hope. He wanted to grasp that hope and hold onto it, at least until he got to the plane. As Paul talked quickly Alex grabbed his hand and he felt a little bit better, having that support. " Okay, once you get inside the plane you have to look straight forwards. There won't be any time for any mistakes, just hop in. I'll start up the propeller and then get in myself. There's only a good two minutes before take off, so if the plane starts to move without me, that's okay."
"But I don't want to leave you" He sobbed a little, but Paul just shot him that big brother look. "I'll find you again, is all. Not that hard." They were in a field now, and there was a little shed in the distance. "A farmer let me keep her here." He smiled. Alex gave him a puzzled look so he had to explain it to him. " Margarita. The plane. "
Once they reached the shed Paul pulled the covering off of it and beamed proudly. Just like Nicky's drawings, there it was, in all it's glory. Lovely and beautiful, bright gold and silver. "No time to gawk, Nicky. Let's not delay."
'Paul and his stupid phrases.'
'Something doesn't feel right'
'Oh, stop worrying.'
'No...I mean it. Something is wrong.'
'What is it?'
'I dunno...just....ahem...'
Alex helped Paul push the plane out fully and then Paul helped Alex jump into the passengers seat. It was wide, enough for two people to fit in. He and Alex could sit in the passengers part, and Paul could sit in the cock pit. They didn't know how to drive the airplane for shite anyway, so Paul had to get on. Alex held out his hand and helped him climb in too before he looked at his brother sadly. " Paul..."
"M'comming, don't loose faith." Paul jumped up and turner the propeller, frowning when it didn't start. "Eh, press the button. Not the red one, the blue on in the upper right hand corner."
Alex leaned over and turned the button, blinking in the sun’s bright rays. Paul jumped up and turned the propeller again, shouting in delight when it began to spin rapidly. The airplane began to move forwards, slowly at first but then began to pick up speed as the wheels slid across the glass. "Paul!" They both called out, fear inside their little voices. They were shocked at how fast Paul could run, however, and were even more shocked when Paul caught up with the plane and jumped up. Him and Alex reached over the side and helped pull Paul into the cockpit just as the wheels began to rise off of the ground.
"Oh my god." Alex breathed out, looking below as the plane ascended into the sky, higher and higher.
"Goggles down, lads." Paul called out, pulling his own goggles down as well. He pulled down his goggles next and then Alex, who got a pair from Paul before they left, pulled his down as well. "Nicky, the view is amazing...this...this is amazing. Why die when there is so much to see, so much to do? You've made...made me see everything differently now. If I hadn't have met you I would've been inside the hospital still, paranoid as hell."
'Wow, we're pretty high up.'
'I don't feel that good...'
'What's the matter?'
"Nicky?" Alex asked, shaking him a little bit. He looked pale as he slouched back against his chest. The belt buckle stabbed Alex in the side as he yelled over the roaring air to Paul, who was busy navigating through the sky. " I think Nicky passed out."
"What!?" Paul yelled out.
"I THINK NICKY PASSED OUT!"
"REALLY!?"
"YES!" Alex called out, palming his forehead. He felt warm. Fire, really. Burning hot. So hot that Alex began to feel over heated himself. " Nicky, wake up!"
'What's the matter?'
'I do...I don't know'
'Can you give me a bloody hint as to what is wrong?'
'Everything is on fire.'
"Nicky!" Alex slapped his cheek again a few more times before his eyes opened again. " Mmmmph?"
"You passed out for a sec there." Alex looked relieved, smiling happily. "Are you okay?"
'Anything else?'
'I can't breathe....'
'Huh? I can't hear you...stop whispering.'
'...'
'Hello?'
"Oh," Nicholas breathed out, biting his lips and looking at Alex with that wry smile. That dark smile.
'Little Nicky....?'
'...'
"In fact, Alex," Nicholas looked at Paul inside the cockpit and at the ground below "I’ve never felt better."
Rating: R ( Schizophrenia, Suicide, Death, Language)
Summary: "If they don't kill you by then, okay." You smile and walk out the door. Nicholas smirked when he heard Alex's head crack against the bar slightly, fear making him pass out cold. Oh shit, look what you did. I didn't do it, Nicholas did. How come he never talks to us? Cos he thinks he's too fucking cool. Well, he's not. Of course he is, dude, he kills people! You tell him to kill people. No, that's Nicky. Whatever. Hey, we're all in this together. Who the fuck are you? The new voice. Take a number. This is getting ridiculous. all of you, shut the fuck up now before I'm forced to make Nicky bash his head into a wall. Oh wow, Nicholas, you finally speak. I worship you, man, fully and wholly. Christ.
Beta: Lisa and then MSWord, just to make sure.
Prescribed pills to offset the shakes to offset the pills
You know you should take it a day at a time.
IV patch stuck to your arm you slide through the hallways like a ghost, quietly and unnoticed. Yes, those lights are rather brighter than they were today, but they upped your dosage of medicine, so maybe you should put on a pair of glasses before you go all the way down the hall. Good? Okay, good. So you go back and get your favorite pair of black sunglasses and come back out into the hall. Everything is tinted now, so much better, right? Good. Watch out for that crack in the tiles, you think, as you move your IV around it slowly. If the wheels on it had hit a bump it would've made a painful tug on your arm, and you didn't want that to happen, did you? Of course not. See, we know what's best for you here. You smile. Good, keep smiling.
So you walk down the hall, your usual 2 am walk down the hall, because at 2am no one is really around and half of the lights are off. That way you can peek at the new patients that came in last night. That way you can make new friends. But nobody really likes you. Oh, don't pout. Be nice, he's fragile. But I'm not nice, am I? Oh, don't think that. It's a confusing battle, those words in your head, isn't it Nicholas? You nod, good boy, yes, it is. Poor you. Those pills will make everything okay...in oh, another 30 minutes. Sit back, relax. So you were going to sit down but then you remember that you have to go and look at the patients so you tug on your little IV line like it's a puppy on it's leash and continue to walk.
Your stomach feels funny, but you refuse to eat. You shouldn't do that, no wonder you're so pale. So skinny. So thin. Aww, don't cry. It's okay, a lot of people refuse to eat inside the hospital. Like Michael, remember what happened, do you? Don't bring up Michael. Yep, you're gonna end up like too. No, don't think that. Just telling him the truth. Quiet. He needs quiet so stop talking, he has to read the numbers on the door so he can find out who he should check on first, can you let him do that? You wait.
...
Silence.
Thank you.
"Room 25B." You read and your voice is so quiet and weak, like a child's. I think it's adorable. You think a lot of things, you machinist perv. Let's not argue, can't we all get along? No. No, we can't. Silence please, you're begging them to stop talking, but they're not listening. I've had enough of you. Fuck you.
"Stop it," You warn quietly, placing a hand to your head and sighing sadly. " Go away."
Like we really listen to you, you ungrateful little twat. We take care of you, talk to you, keep you company. That's why nobody likes you. Actually, the correct pronunciation is no one, not nobody. Shut up, nerd. I'll say it however I want. Oh, shush, both of you. Hell, I’m just trying to get my word in before the pills kick in. Yeh, good point. They agree, but you look at the door and remember that Michael was in 25B so you go and march right in there because the door is open.
Inside of the room there's flowers and balloons and pictures and candles and it looks like someone died, but they didn't because there's this person sitting up inside of the bed crying. What a loser, sobbing like that. Christ. But you go right over to him and place a hand on his wrist and smile gently, because that's what you're supposed to do when you want to make someone happy. That's what your friends told you. Before you burned down the school, you little perverted schizophrenic arsonist. Nice words, asrsehole, leave the kid be. He's trying to be helpful but the other isn't listening and Nicholas wants them all to be quiet again because it's not that simple anymore and everything is hurting again. Shit, now those pills are kicking in. Great. "Why are you crying?" You murmur quietly, hand on his wrist, skin pale and eyes lowered.
"They're trying to kill me." He cried out, moving around inside of the bed." They wanna wait until I'm asleep and then they're gonna kill me, I know it. That's why they tied me down."
You look down and sure enough, he's strapped down by his wrists. He's sitting up still, and it's obvious that he's been trying to pick the restraints off, because his fingers and raw and bloodied. He looks sad. You like him. "They're gonna poison me." He whispers, not moving now, just crying still. Crazy, I tell you. Crazy as a motherfucker. Hey, no profanity. Sod off, fairy. I feel so lonely. Why the fuck haven't those pills kicked in?
"Why are they gonna kill you?" Childish innocence, they were always fooled by that. Those soft blue eyes, that sweet face, that tiny little accent. Your little giggle, that cute little one that sounds a bit annoying, but makes you want to laugh as well. That's because they were dumb, dumb as hell. You should've burned down their house too. Couldn't get a match. Ahh, he speaks. No, not really, it's still me. I think he's ignoring us. Well, I'd ignore you too.
"I don't know. Probably because I already tried."
"You tried to kill them!?" He asked, excited. " Me too!"
"No- no...what?" He asked, blinking at him. " No, I didn't try to kill them, I tried to kill me."
"Yourself?"
"Yeah..." I like his idea. Fuck you, Christ. Hey, I'm just getting my point across.
"Oh." Your frown, rubbing your arms but then you look up again. Interesting....killing....killing yourself? You never heard of that before. You've...Michael did that. But Michael wasn't really your friend, he just said he was. Well, would you be someone's friend after they lit your favorite teddy bear on fire? No, Anders was evil! He was a fucking bear, he wasn't evil, he was made of cotton and stitches. Hey, you saw what happened to snuggles didn't you? You see they blew him the fuck up. Had it coming too, twaty bear. You are pure evil. About time you realized that. SHUT UP, PLEASE, HE'S TRYING TO THINK AGAIN. " How did you try?"
"Well," He says, laying back down again. " I took this pencil, and I jammed it into my arm...but then that didn't work, so I took some glass, and I poked myself with that for a while, but that didn't work. Then I tried pills, but that didn't work, cos I can't swallow them and I ended up choking. So then my brother did this weird jerking maneuver and I ended up spitting them out. So then I went into the bathroom and I found my mum's razors and well...yeh. But you know, that didn't work either. I mean, I didn't die....just bled a lot. Everyone was freaking out though...it was just only a little blood. But here I am now, cos they had to wrap me up...and yeh..."
"So now they're trying to kill you?"
"Yeh, but I wanna do it myself."
"Understandable." You looked at his restraints and smiled." My name is Nicky."
"My name is Alex, how do you do?" He says this with a funny accent, bowing his head. " I'd take off my hat if I had one, that, or I wasn't tied down." Isn't that a riot, a nut that's polite, well I'll be dammed. You'll be something. "Why are you here?"
"Cos I set some things on fire." You shrug, sitting down on the bed besides him.
"Cool."
"Ja, I have a pack of matches too, wanna see em?"
"I have nothing else better to do." Oh shit, not the matches again. How the hell does he get his hands on these things, didn't we tell you to stop doing that? Yeah, kid, light something on fire. How about that curtain? DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM! DON'T STIFFLE HIM, HE'S BEING CREATIVE ....the fuck?
So Nicholas takes out his matches and shows it to Alex, who smiles and nods as he talks. "I have a whole bunch of them in different colors...pinks and reds and blues, but this one is my favorite." He said, and reached inside of his gown's pocket to pull out a silver lighter. " Easy and quick. I nicked it off of my dad."
"Brilliant."
"Ja." He put them back inside his pocket and yawned, eyes getting blurry. Oh no, someone's sleepy. Oh no, someone's pills are kicking in. Yeh, that means you fuckers go nighty night until he wakes up. That's what you think.
"I like you, Nicky. You're the only who hasn't tried to kill me yet."
"Glad you do." Nicholas slides off the bed and pulls his IV with him. " I like your IV bag."
"S'pretty, right?" Alex says, flushing and touching it fondly. Rip it out of his arm, go on, do it. Do it. Do it. This isn't Starsky and Hutch, shut the fuck up. Do it. Do it. Do it.
"I gotta go to sleep, Alex, before my pills kick in and I fall on the floor." Nicholas says this bluntly, but you don't know what the fuck you're saying, because there are so many sides to you that you don't know who has control of what anymore and which person you are at the moment. Nicholas is the one that likes to start fires, and you're the sweet innocent one, then you have that other person who eggs you on to do bad shit and then that other person who is such a fucking God fearing pussy that eggs you on to do good shit. It's annoying. Damn pills, work already.
Alex nods," Come back tomorrow."
"If they don't kill you by then, okay." You smile and walk out the door. Nicholas smirked when he heard Alex's head crack against the bar slightly, fear making him pass out cold. Oh shit, look what you did. I didn't do it, Nicholas did. How come he never talks to us? Cos he thinks he's too fucking cool. Well, he's not. Of course he is, dude, he kills people! You tell him to kill people. No, that's Nicky. Whatever. Hey, we're all in this together. Who the fuck are you? The new voice. Take a number. This is getting ridiculous. all of you, shut the fuck up now before I'm forced to make Nicky bash his head into a wall. Oh wow, Nicholas, you finally speak. I worship you, man, fully and wholly. Christ.
Nicky bangs his head into the wall twice while he's walking down the hallway back to his room before everything is silent and those pills kick in. He doesn't make it to the bed, just inside the room before he falls to the floor, IV line and all.
La, la la la la , la la la la la, llaaahhh laaahhhh lllahhhhaahhh....
I loved you, but you killed me, oh no...oh yes,...no no no
Lallaaa...lla laa.... and I never sawwwww...you look s-s-s-oo lonely....so beautiful...
laaa laa la allaa and it kills me soo....laa llall aaalhhaaaaa
Wake up. Fuck off. Rise and shine, Nicky! Where's Nicholas? Lalllala. STOP SINGING. I CAN'T. WHY? COS M'HAPPY, DAMNIT. You are so fucking gay. Christ.
You wake up inside of your bed to see Robert hovering over you. You reach out to kick him, but he moves to the side, almost anticipating it. "Don't do that, Nicholas."
"M'name's Nicky." You pout, rubbing your eyes. Your arms hurt. Where's your IV?
"...oh, it's you." Robert squints and you hate his shiny fucking lab coat, like he's someone special. CUNT. CUNT. CUNT. I agree with you for once, CUNT! "Hello, Nicky, had a nice sleep?"
"Ja, it was painful."
"Oh, you're favorite type."
You nod your head happily," Yep!"
"Well, I was just making sure that you were taking your pills."
"Yeh, they make me kind of dizzy and I threw up this morning." And it fucks with your head, look at that, a 5th personality , new kid, fuck off. He's gone, shite. Where did he go? Nicholas kicked his ass while we were sleeping. What do you mean. The black eye, duh. What black eye? You'll see.
"What happened to your eye, Nicky?"
"What about it?" You touch your eye gently and flinch in pain. "Shite....owww,"
"How did that happen?"
"I don't know" Oh, Nicky. Poor babe, your eye is swollen shut.
Christ, wow, Nicholas fucked him up. Ja, he's sooooo cool. God, you called me gay.
Robert patted Nicky on the head, " You know I don't do this often but..." He leaned over and kissed him gently, shyly, and then pulled away. "Nicky, I want you to get better, you don't belong here."
You flushed, how sweet. Your doctor cares for you. And just think, you were going to set his shirt on fire tonight. Or, actually, Nicholas was. How odd. "I don't want to be here anymore." Don't cry, twat, you'll sound too innocent. Shh, let him cry, he needs it. Oh shit, why don't you go and kiss him as well, twat. I'm ignoring you now.
"You're sick, Nicky. You have to stay here until you get better. Go to sleep, and I'll come back and check on you later." Robert patted your arm gently and oh, how sweet, your doctor was in love with you. I'm proud of you, Nicky. A new person to shove away! Quiet, you. I don't like the way you're heading. Isn't it the way you're talking? Sod off! MAKE ME. LET'S GO RIGHT NOW, BITCH, HOLD ME BACK, HOLD ME BACK!!
"Ni- Nicky, stop banging your head into the pillow or I'll be forced to put you in restraints like Alexander." Robert's voice is tired now and you sheepishly smile." I'm just trying to get them to shut up."
"Oh," He sounds disappointed and sighs, because that's what doctors do. "I'll arrange for the nurse to up your dosage, if you want."
"No...no, doc. I'm okay, really. Just let me...two more times." Nicky sounds desperate, let's shut up. Wait. Why? I wanna see him bang his head into the pillow one more time. God, you're evil. Wait for it...
"Fine." Robert looks bored now, and Nicky bangs his head into the pillow two more times before smiling," Okay, done." He laid back inside of the bed and closed his eyes, feigning sleepyness, at least until Robert was gone, then he'd get up and go and visit Alex, cause he liked him.
MOTHERFUCKER, OH MY GOD, HAHAHAAHAH. Why are you laughing? DID YOU SEE HIM BANG HIS HEAD, SHIT!? That wasn't funny, that was sad. OH MY GOD, I'M TEARING. Robert looked at Nicky one more time before he left the room and turned off the light. Then Nicky sat up.
"You guys, you need to stop talking so loud. It took me forever to fall asleep last night."
Lying bitch, you passed out on the floor.
"I did not." Nicky pouted, rubbing his head. " And stop bashing me."
That was Nicholas, dear.
"And leave me alone."
Sorry, no can do.
"Why not?"
Because you're a crazy schizophrenic arsonist. You always will be, no matter how many pills you take, okay? The only way you'd get rid of us is if you killed yourself.
Nicky staid quiet.
Oh shit, what did you say to him?
Nothing....I ahem....what is he thinking?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I KNOW?
I DON'T KNOW, YOU ARE HIM.
WELL SO ARE YOU.
"If I killed myself you'd go away?" Nicky smiled a little and then slipped out of the bed. Grab your IV, hun. You need it. Okay, you smile, and you take your IV and then start to walk again. Why does he like you the most? Because I am the most caring. WELL I DON'T FUCKING LIKE YOU. TOUGH SHIT, BITCH. Can't we all just get along? NO, WE CAN'T. Nicky walks down the hall with his sun glasses still on from last night and makes his way to 25B only to see the bed empty. HAHA, THEY KILLED HIM. HAHAHAHA. THAT IS NOT FUNNY. OH YES, IT IS. TEARING UP HERE!! Nicky busted out into tears, his only friend was dead. Wait, did that mean that they were going to kill him now? No, they couldn't. No. They wouldn't-
Nicky turned around, hearing someone screaming. He blinked in shock when he saw Alex standing behind him, crying hysterically. He automatically engulfed him into his arms," I thought you were dead, why are you crying!?"
Alex opened his eyes and sniffed," Cos I thought you were dead! When I went into your room no one was there!"
"I'm alive." Nicky smiled out and Alex hugged him tighter, breathing out "Yay" into his ear.
It was then that Nicky got an idea and pushed Alex away," Alex, do you still wanna kill yourself?"
"Kinda, why?"
"Cos, I'll do it with you." Nicholas smiled out, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Alex smiled as well, wiping his tears away. "Okay."
----
Holy shit, Nick, wake up. M'awake , what? What the fuck is Nicholas doing? He's cryin- HOLY SHIT HE'S CRYING. WHY IS HE CRYING. I'M SCARED, HOLD ME. Why don't I have a name, I just realized that? Cos...mm, we ran out of Nicks. We have Nick, Nicky, Nicholas....um, that's it. More importantly, why is Nicholas crying? And where is Nicky? Nicky is being pushed off somewhere deep down inside of our mind for the time being.
Why is Nicholas on the floor anyway, you may wonder. Why are you unable to speak, unable to move, and why is this creature, this being, this evil person, controlling your every move, your every breath, your every thought? And why does it hurt so much? Nicholas looks so sad, curled around Alex like that. Fucker, taking away your best friend. You want to hurt him, ache to hurt him, but it won't work, you can't, you can't move, can't do anything. And oh, how you fucking want to.
"Do you want to?" Nicholas asks and his voice is fucking slick, so slick you could slip across the room on it if you weren't careful. Where the fuck do you get these phrases from? Why didn't you just say as slick as a banana or summat? Sod off, he's thinking again.
"How are we supposed to do it?" Alex asks and Nicholas smiles, that cold, wonderful smile. " Death by way of flight"
Part II
Rating: R (
Beta: Lisa and then MSWord, just to make sure.
Oh, and thank you
roleyknoty
cos yer cooler than I will ever be.Disclaimer: Oh, god, never. Not real. You know how I know it's not real. Because Nick used to steal things, not light things on fire. ( But the part about Nick jumping rope down the hall is true, watch the DVD. However, I do not have him smack Paul in the head in this story.)
Beta: Lisa and MSWord
AN: I know a lot of people got confused by the italics and underlines and bolds so I tried a new way this time. Enjoy!
"Nicky?" Alex asked, shaking him a little bit. He looked pale as he slouched back against his chest. The belt buckle stabbed Alex in the side as he yelled over the roaring air to Paul, who was busy navigating through the sky. " I think Nicky passed out."
'All who vote in favor of not setting anything on fire say 'aye'.
'Aye'
'Your vote doesn't count.'
'And why not?'
'Cos.'
'Cos what?'
"Quiet." Nicky is pacing around his room again and aww, look, he has that black eye still. It's not going away. In fact, it's getting worse. Not the black eye, no, Nicky was past black eyes already, but that feeling. That sad, dark, overwhelming feeling, like drowning. But he couldn't be drowning because he was pacing around his hospital room. No, he wasn't drowning, but it sure as hell felt that way. And ever since Nicholas, the darker one, the sullen one, the one that was dragging him down, made that pact with Alex he had no control over anything anymore. He was surprised that he was even able to pace right now. So he was going to pace around until that dark feeling overcame him again and he was forced to sit down, bury his face into the pillow and sob, bite back that burning feeling and try and stop him from showing up again.
'Sad, really.'
'So you say'
'Well...you are relatively quiet today'
'I've been thinking...'
'A first'
'Don't mock me, I'm being considerate'
'Sorry'
'Anyway, I was just think how horrible we've been lately. Like we've been torturing Nicky for our own perverse pleasure or summat. That isn't very nice of us, and you know, I don't think people like it.'
'People?'
'The others.'
'Oh....wait, we? No, you mean you. I'm nice to Nicky. I talk to Nicky. I'm the one who hates him-'
'Nicholas?'
'Yes.'
'Don't say it so harshly'
'...I can't produce emotion. I- we're a figment of Nicky's twisted imagination. We're not really here. We don't breathe, he does. We don't talk unless he projects it. We can't feel anything. It's rather depressing.'
Nicky feels bad because those voices in his head are starting to feel sympathetic for him, and he didn't want that. Bad enough they were there in the first place, constantly chattering and bickering. "I don't want your pity."
'We're not offering it, kid.'
The IV drip sits inside of the corner of the room. He stopped pulling it around with him because it didn't make him feel any better anymore. It didn't show that he was okay. It didn't even help him in anyway, but he still kept it...for memories sake, he supposed. He had a new thing now anyway, it was called a pack. It's not really a pack, but he called it that because it's a cute little pouch that he has tired around his wrist filled with different tablets and pills that he needed. He changed the pack every day because Robert gave him several of them in different colors; a kind birthday present. Which he doesn't remember. "When's my birthday?" Nicky is wide eyed as he looked at the calendar and squints, placing his index finger to it and tracking down the days. His fingers falls on a Saturday and he blinks, because that was last week. But he doesn't remember that.
'Lovely birthday, Alex was there. Got you a present.'
"Really?"
'Yep, you put it inside that drawer over there.'
"I don't remember." Nicky is puzzled. He didn't remember it.
'Of course he doesn't, tell him why.'
'Why ruin his one moment of happiness?'
'Does it sound like he's happy?'
'Okay. You...weren't around, let's put it that way.'
"Oh." Nicky, don't look sad. It wasn't the first time that you missed out on your birthday.
'Look, go look at your present.'
"Okay." Nicky nods and walks over to the cabinet slowly, looking at the checkered pattern tiles on the floor as he does so. Lately he's been doing things lately, touching tiles twice, walking backwards and counting things. He did it to take his mind off of things, but Robert didn't seem to be amused." Nicky, you have to stop doing all these things before they transfer you out of here and put you somewhere..." He adjusted his jacket slightly, sighing that doctorly sigh," Somewhere more....suitable." Nicky didn't know where that was, so one of his better halves had to pipe up, ' The crazy house'.
He opened up the dresser and pulled out a little box.
'Oh, look! A smile, shit, when was the last time he smiled?'
'Beats me.'
'You know you think it's adorable, why don't you just admit that you care about him?'
'Because someone has to be the asrsehole.'
Nicky sat on the floor- the while colored tiles, not the black, black was a negative color and since today was Tuesday the 22nd that was a positive number as well as an even number, so it has to be positive, so white would be a positive color too- and opened up the box quickly, shredding the papers and dropping them to the floor. Inside the box there was a pen. A small black ink pen. Nicky looked at for a long time and smiled before looking at the tiny letter that fell out from the bottom. 'Oh yeah, I tried with this too. It didn't work, but you're smart. I'm sure you can make something useful of it- Alex'.
'Creative'
'The lad's got style.'
Nicky took the pen and looked at it, rotating it in his fingers, and then sighed. " You guys know where some paper is at?"
'Now he wants to talk to us, when he needs shit. Well you little twat you can go and look for it right up your-'
'It's inside the second drawer, the right one, not the left one.'
"Thank you." Maybe one day Nicky might actually sit down and have a full conversation with those people inside of his head, but for now he'd be reduced to having seldom conversations with them involving pens, papers and questions that he needed a yes, no, or I don't know answer to. He'd settle. Settling is what he did best. He pulled out some paper and sat on the floor, - the left white tile because if he sat on the right one the whole set up would be fucked, and he didn't want that because then he'd have to go back to sitting on the black ties just because he had to be evened out- and began to draw with that black pen.
'Oh, remember when he was little and he used to draw those little airplanes?'
'You sound like a joyful mother.'
'What? They were so adorable, all golden and silver with that pretty red backdrop...'
'I never understood why he constantly drew airplanes.'
'His lust for flight, obviously. He wanted to fly away from us.'
'Tough shit, that airplane isn't gonna jump off of the page and come to life. This isn't a fairy tale.'
'Shh...he's drawing them again'
The airplanes that Nicky drew were old fashioned, like the ones back in the day used to look like. He remembered looking inside his text book inside the hospital when he had first arrived on an article during World War II, and those fighter airplanes that had been used. He loved how they were shaped and how they looked. But he always loved the ones with double wings, he could never remember the proper name for them, liked the look of it. The cute ones with the two seats, the cock pit in the front and the passenger one in the back. And that red sunset....that sense of freedom, of escape. It was the get away he always dreamed of, to escape from all of the troubles and pain that he had...to just skip it all. And fly. Oh, he dreamed of flying every night. Especially when that ache came. When that ache came he'd grab the bars on the side of his bed and tie his bed sheet around his neck, pull his sunglasses down and close his eyes. And he'd see that run way in front of him, that dark dusty road. And then he'd be gone.
'Oh, quit it. Stop it. Stop thinking, now. It'll never happen. Never fucking happen.'
' I can almost see the runway now'
'Sod off.'
There was a soft tap on his door, and Nicky looked up, almost done with his drawing. He almost dropped the pen from his mouth when he saw the person at the door.
Paul.
'Holy shite.'
'Bloody hell.'
'What the fuck is he doing here?'
'Are you afraid?'
'No...'
'Oh god, the bad boy is finally scared of someone! This calls for celebration.'
'Sod off! This bloke is crazier than Alex!'
'I like him.'
'Of course you would.'
"Ello." Paul smiled out, hands on his hip. Nicky blinked at him, mouth opened all wide, shocked and confused. " M'not a bloody ghost, come and give yer step-brother a hug!"
Nicky scrambled to his feet and engulfed him into his arms, burring his head into Paul's leather jacket." Where have you been all this time? You don't know how much I missed you..." He started to shake a little as tears crept into his eyes and that drowning feeling came back, but Paul just put a hand to Nicky's hot little forehead and the pain went away just as fast as it had came. Brothers were good for doing things that you couldn't do. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Got you a present, since it was your birthday and all." He reached up to the top of his forehead and pulled the goggles off before holding them in front of Nicky's face.
'I think he's gonna cry, he's so happy.'
'Get a camera, he'll be crying to night as well then it happens'
'Don't talk about that right now'
"A tad big on yer head probably, but it'll fit." Paul smiled and Nicky grabbed them from Paul's gloved hand, sticking it onto his head. A perfect fit. They were gold too, just like his airplane. Just like his escape. He touched the clasp in the middle, and the small round glass pieces on either side before truing back to him again. "Why are you here?"
"To get you out, of course."
"What?" Nicky let go of him and stared at him oddly, head cocked to the side." How?"
"How else?" Paul smirked, but Nicky's face paled. " You can't...I have a friend..."
"Fuck all, take him with you!" Paul said this calmly, looking at Nicky's airplane. " Nice drawing."
"S'my airplane."
"No, actually, it's grandpa's airplane. The one he used in the war."
"Margarita?" Nicky frowned," That old battered piece of shit."
"Hey, that old, battered peice of shit carried Grandpa home. Yes, that's the one. He used to let me and you sit inside of it when you were little, and that's how she looked before age got to her. That's how mines looks now."
"Yours...?" Nicky blinked and Paul had that small smile playing on his lips, eyes bright with life. Sometimes Nicky envied his brother's lust for life and passion to do things that haven't been done before, but that's why he was the older brother and Nicky wasn't. " You have one!?"
Paul moved his fingers around in a circle in the air. Cocked his head to the side and put his hands inside his pocket. " Come fly with me."
'That wasn't a question, it was a demand.'
'That's so fucking hot.'
'Your brother.'
'Step-brother'
'Thank god you never get control of the kid.'
--------------------------------
"This is how we're going to die?" Alex bit his knuckles in excitement as well as fear.
Nicholas had that dark smile on his face," Death by way of flight."
"The airplane is lovely." Alex looked at it carefully, amazed at how beautiful it was. Tall, golden, and looked brand new. "How did your brother get this?"
"What brother?" Nicholas frowned, biting his lip." Oh, you mean Paul? Dunno, he's odd like that."
"Are we going to crash the plane into something?"
"Don't be silly." Nicholas chided, touching his goggles fondly. The winter air was freezing, and he had a little bit of trouble seeing in front of him due to the snow that was coming down, but he had to see it himself. Had to get a glimpse of the plane up close with Alex before Nicky decided that he didn't like being on the backburner and pushed his way back into having control. Sodding twat. He rubbed his gloves together and smiled. "Nothing of that sort. Something on a much larger scale."
Alex didn't see Nicholas smirk but did hear that violent cough followed by a groaned out "Oh God." and "Sodding cunt" .Nicholas had to excuse himself to go back inside because he had a cold and couldn't stay outside for long. It was then that he realized that something was wrong.
---------------------------------
'Is he alive?'
'Yer still talking, so I suppose so.'
'But he's not moving'
'Stop wining, m'sleepy.'
'If yer sleepy that means he's gonna die. Don't go to sleep. Ignore the light'
"Oh Nicky."
'Who the fuck is that talking?'
'Oh God, now I'm getting sleepy too.'
"Nicky, why are you doing this to yourself?"
'Maybe if we go to sleep...'
"What?" Nicky's voice is weak as he opened his frost covered eyelashes and sits up inside of the bed, body shaking. It was cold. Fucking cold. So cold that whenever he inhaled it felt like his body was on fire, that burning sting that only coldness could bring on. It ignited his insides and make him groan in pain, as well as sneeze. When his vision cleared up more he looked at Robert sitting on the bed with him, hands covering his eyes. He had one of those doctor headaches, Nicky was sure of it. Robert always got those while Nicky was around. So Nicky tugged on his arm slightly, "What happened?"
"I found you sleeping inside of the snow. Shite, Nicky. What happened?"
"Dunno, I was tired and I went to sleep. Inside this room, this bed. Dunno how I got outside."
'Wake up, or I'll start singing again'
'MMMmpphh.'
'La la-'
'M'awake. What!?'
'Nicky feel asleep inside of the snow. I swear, Nicholas is trying to kill him.'
'What!?'
'Why do you think we were so sleepy? He was bloody fucking dying!'
'Oh.'
Nicky looked up at Robert with clear eyes," Are you worried now?"
"I was worried when you first came here. Go back to sleep, I'll have a nurse check up on you every hour. I don't want something like this happening again." Robert got up off of the bed and Nicky shot up quickly, panicked, and grabbed his hand. Tugged on it gently like a child, because Nicky had a lot of childish tendencies. He once jumped rope down and up the hall for an hour straight, singing that stupid tune inside of his head that went 'Lal la la la la' and nothing else. But anyway, he tugged on Robert's arm so Robert had to bend back down and come down to Nicky's level again. He held him there for a moment and then kissed him on the cheek, which is a tad odd because afterwards there was a grunt, but it didn't come from Nicky or Paul, nor from his other personalities. "I'm sorry for all of this." Nicky whispered it quietly and Robert smiled, placing a hand on top of his head. His fingers brushed against his goggles and he blinked for a second, about to ask where Nicky got those from, but stopped, deciding he didn't want to know. " You'll get better one day, I promise."
That was the last time Nicky would talk to Robert.
'Well, don't say it like that. Makes it sound depressing.'
'Well, he doesn't. '
'Don't ruin it for everyone else though!'
'Stop wining.'
As soon as Robert closed the door Paul sighed out tiredly," You have the hots for him or summat?"
"Or summat." Nicky answered, closing his eyes and leaning back inside of the bed. He pulled his blankets up over him and frowned," Were you watching us, perv?"
"Yeh, I thought he was gonna bugger you in the Johnny or summat. I had to stick around."
Nicky made a face. " Ew."
'Ew.'
'Hahaha, sweet.'
"Really, how long were you there?" Nicky blinked some snow from his lashes; the rest was beginning to melt away.
"The whole bloody day. I can't be seen around here, or they're gonna track me down once you're gone."
"They don't think I have any family members, not anymore..."
"Let's not talk about the fire now, shall we? You did what those people inside of your head told you to do, that's the end of it." Paul's gloves were leather and fingerless, so whenever he'd talk he'd move them to run a hand through his shaggy hair, taking great care not to have them collide with his goggles, which were a top his head once more. Nicky didn't know how Paul got another pair, but he didn't know a lot of things about his step-brother. His leather jacket had different buttons and patches on it, and his scarf was thick and woolly, a dark, sinister black color. "How are they anyway?"
"Nicholas? Nick? Or little Nick?"
Paul sighed." Christ, all of them."
"Nicholas is trying to get Alex to kill himself, along with him...me, as well. Nick is being an asshole like he normally is, but I know he cares about me. Little Nick is okay, he likes you." Nicky played with his own goggles now, his lips still wet. Robert's cheek was as soft as a petal.
'I KNOW HE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT ABOUT ME! I DON'T LIKE PAUL.'
'Hahahahah, your name is little Nick.'
"Well tell little Nick I said hi." Paul smiled a little, jumping onto Nicky's bed.
"Oh, he heard you. Didn't you, little Nick?"
'Wanker.'
Nicky was starting to like talking to himself. Paul made it seem almost normal.
"A few more weeks and we'll be ready." Paul said, leaning on the bed now, eyes closing.
Nicky yawned, closing his eyes as well, smiling. " We'll fly."
--------------------------------------------------------
'It is Spring and I still feel like someone is stabbing me with a knife.'
'Oh, that's me.'
'Well, stoppit! M'trying to bloody fucking enjoy these last days.'
'You have such an odd sense of clarity in your words'
'Death is inevitable babe, it's not clarity but more along the lines of the fact that it‘s true.'
"I won't let it happen, I won't let it happen. No. No. You're not going to come back. No. No. Go away. Go Away." Nicky was curled up on the floor at the moment, biting his lips, rocking back and forth and shaking his head repeatedly. It was happening. He was drowning. He was choking. He was gasping. " Make it go away. Stop it. No. No. No. You're not coming back. YOU'RE NOT COMMING BACK!" He screamed the last part, digging his fingers into his scalp. This time the pain was unbearable, and it didn't matter how many pills he took or how many people said he was going to be okay, it was going to happen. He held Nicholas off for 3 months, did he really expect to be cured? It would've been okay. He would've given up if it hadn't been for the fact that Alex and Paul were standing there, watching him with a look of confusion as well as sorrow on their faces. It was embarrassing.
"Ni-"
"Don't talk to him, he has to fight it off." Paul said this quietly, staring at him intently.
'I just want to talk with Paulie, you can let me do that, can't you Nicky?'
"No, I can't. You need to go away and stay away."
'But he's my brother too.'
"No, Nicholas."
'Aw, yer gonna make me sad, Nicky. Don't wanna do that, do you? You may end up with a black eye again. Don't wanna break that pretty skin, do you? And oh, look, yer so tired. Why don't you relax and let me take over for a while? You'd like that, you know you would. And then you'd feel better. Right?'
"No..."
'Oh, yes. You could probably just sit back and relax. And you wouldn't have to take anymore pills or listen to all those odd little voices or give into those urges of walking backwards or anything like that. It'd be over. It'd be all gone.'
"Nicky, get up. We have to get to the plane, they've probably realized that you and me have left by now." Alex said this urgently, grabbing at his hand. As soon as his hand touched Alex's he gasped and sat up, eyes watering.
"You alright?" Paul asked, blinking a little.
"Yeh, m'alright." He sat up, adjusting his goggles and then let Alex pull him back to his feet. The spring air was warm and gentle, breezes so soft it felt like silk as cradling itself against your cheek. The sun was floating in the sky, bright and shining, like a beacon of hope. He wanted to grasp that hope and hold onto it, at least until he got to the plane. As Paul talked quickly Alex grabbed his hand and he felt a little bit better, having that support. " Okay, once you get inside the plane you have to look straight forwards. There won't be any time for any mistakes, just hop in. I'll start up the propeller and then get in myself. There's only a good two minutes before take off, so if the plane starts to move without me, that's okay."
"But I don't want to leave you" He sobbed a little, but Paul just shot him that big brother look. "I'll find you again, is all. Not that hard." They were in a field now, and there was a little shed in the distance. "A farmer let me keep her here." He smiled. Alex gave him a puzzled look so he had to explain it to him. " Margarita. The plane. "
Once they reached the shed Paul pulled the covering off of it and beamed proudly. Just like Nicky's drawings, there it was, in all it's glory. Lovely and beautiful, bright gold and silver. "No time to gawk, Nicky. Let's not delay."
'Paul and his stupid phrases.'
'Something doesn't feel right'
'Oh, stop worrying.'
'No...I mean it. Something is wrong.'
'What is it?'
'I dunno...just....ahem...'
Alex helped Paul push the plane out fully and then Paul helped Alex jump into the passengers seat. It was wide, enough for two people to fit in. He and Alex could sit in the passengers part, and Paul could sit in the cock pit. They didn't know how to drive the airplane for shite anyway, so Paul had to get on. Alex held out his hand and helped him climb in too before he looked at his brother sadly. " Paul..."
"M'comming, don't loose faith." Paul jumped up and turner the propeller, frowning when it didn't start. "Eh, press the button. Not the red one, the blue on in the upper right hand corner."
Alex leaned over and turned the button, blinking in the sun’s bright rays. Paul jumped up and turned the propeller again, shouting in delight when it began to spin rapidly. The airplane began to move forwards, slowly at first but then began to pick up speed as the wheels slid across the glass. "Paul!" They both called out, fear inside their little voices. They were shocked at how fast Paul could run, however, and were even more shocked when Paul caught up with the plane and jumped up. Him and Alex reached over the side and helped pull Paul into the cockpit just as the wheels began to rise off of the ground.
"Oh my god." Alex breathed out, looking below as the plane ascended into the sky, higher and higher.
"Goggles down, lads." Paul called out, pulling his own goggles down as well. He pulled down his goggles next and then Alex, who got a pair from Paul before they left, pulled his down as well. "Nicky, the view is amazing...this...this is amazing. Why die when there is so much to see, so much to do? You've made...made me see everything differently now. If I hadn't have met you I would've been inside the hospital still, paranoid as hell."
'Wow, we're pretty high up.'
'I don't feel that good...'
'What's the matter?'
"Nicky?" Alex asked, shaking him a little bit. He looked pale as he slouched back against his chest. The belt buckle stabbed Alex in the side as he yelled over the roaring air to Paul, who was busy navigating through the sky. " I think Nicky passed out."
"What!?" Paul yelled out.
"I THINK NICKY PASSED OUT!"
"REALLY!?"
"YES!" Alex called out, palming his forehead. He felt warm. Fire, really. Burning hot. So hot that Alex began to feel over heated himself. " Nicky, wake up!"
'What's the matter?'
'I do...I don't know'
'Can you give me a bloody hint as to what is wrong?'
'Everything is on fire.'
"Nicky!" Alex slapped his cheek again a few more times before his eyes opened again. " Mmmmph?"
"You passed out for a sec there." Alex looked relieved, smiling happily. "Are you okay?"
'Anything else?'
'I can't breathe....'
'Huh? I can't hear you...stop whispering.'
'...'
'Hello?'
"Oh," Nicholas breathed out, biting his lips and looking at Alex with that wry smile. That dark smile.
'Little Nicky....?'
'...'
"In fact, Alex," Nicholas looked at Paul inside the cockpit and at the ground below "I’ve never felt better."
